Lovin' Life

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2010-05-01T13:11:00.002+08:00

It's been such a long time since I last updated my blog and you don't want to know why...but I'll tell it anyway. On Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays, from 1-5:30 pm I'm in a review center. You know, preparing for college. I'm currently attending in a review center located between Aurora Blvd. and Balete Drive. It went out really fine...I'm learning, indeed. Though I admit, my school is better. All this review center do to me is to refresh my memory on our previous lessons since I was in first year. I recognize all the lesson, except those in Math...

So what have I been doing...

I have been drawing nightly, but still haven't post them yet in my deviantart account because my siblings are the only ones who could use the computer - except now. *hehe* Sometimes, I'm really annoyed that they're the only one who receives the advantage of using computer. My younger sister's only work when using the computer is in Facebook and Picnik, while my brother has so much! He has a lot of games installed in this computer and also settles for Facebook and Y8, sometimes, CartoonNetwork an Disney. All they are doing are - for me - nonsense. I mean, why not widen their knowledge by researching using the internet and use their vacation to broaden their vocabulary or learn something else, right? Well, my friend would always tell me when I complain to her, "It's vacation! And what do you do on vacations? ENJOY!"

Oh yeah, I'm enjoying. I'm can freely draw whatever I want now anytime, anywhere. I have also been practicing my piano playing and successfully, I was able to play Canon in D (arranged by Oberon - I think) fully. I've been reading mangas I want these past few weeks but not on regular basis, only when I can use the computer.

And you'll be surprised to know that I am writing stories again! I haven't written stories for years since I was in second year. If I have time, I could put it here. And you know, I just want this story to be published just like those books I love to read. A while ago, I was looking for book publishers here in the Philippines but I just couldn't find one. Maybe I'll try SUMMIT MEDIA, but I doubt I could do that. Well, I just have to continue writing, right?

Mask - Kamen no Jouji

2010-04-20T05:06:00.002+08:00

*pic from mangaupdates*

Well, just a while ago, I was searching for a nice manga to read in mangaupdates and this caught my attention. The story focuses on Ria who wants to revenge against Kyouji Hime, the son of a famous gang leader. Why did she want to plot a revenge? Because ten years ago, Ria's birthday, he and his family is the reason why her parents died. It was her birthday and her mom gave her a charm - a good luck charm - which is really precious to her. Then came those gang members forcing the her poor parents to pay for a debt.

In Ria's room, a man entered, the 18-year old Kyouji whom she asked from to save her parents. With that request, she gave him her good luck charm and Kyouji willingly said yes to the child. Ria hold on to that promise Kyouji made but then because her parents couldn't pay the debt, they killed themselves leaving Ria in the care of her uncle and aunt.

Ria bravely went to Kyouji but instead of keeping her resolve for a revenge, she ended up sleeping with him. Somehow, time is running and it seems that her feelings falter. What would she do?

One day, Ria had the opportunity to actually spurt out all she wants to say and attempted killing him. But do not forget that he is the son of a gang leader. People with weapons came and took Ria. With all that she said, it finally came to Kyouji's mind about that girl ten years ago and he fought those men to get Ria back though she is unconscious.

When she regain consciousness, Kyouji tempted Ria to kill him with a knife. She can't do it...Soon, she learned that Kyouji still holds on to that promise and that he was sorry to break such promise. It seems that Kyouji still has that good luck charm she gave 10 years ago. It ended with them happily accepted each other to change for the better. Kyouji left the gang to start a new life.

I want more of this story! It could have been longer! The plot is really nice, so how about more scheming plot to take on revenge on him and Kyouji still has this cold attitude and realizes that he loves her before they finally admit to each other that they love each other. Actually, there was no confession there. Kyouji only said, "Do you want to stay by my side. Not the employer-employee relationship but a real love relationship with you." something like that. And he was fighting with his father to marry someone for love. Well, I guess that counts as a confession.

Now I have a new mangaka I love, Miyazono Izumi. I hope to see more of his/her work in the future.

Time is relative...?

2010-04-20T03:45:00.002+08:00

While I was watching Brenda Song's Disney movie Wendy Wu: Homecoming Warrior, I was awestruck by what one of those teachers who was teaching Wendy. I guess that was in the soccer field and the teacher was kicking soccer ball on Wendy. The goal is to dodge - I guess - every ball. At first, she couldn't even hit any ball and of course, she complained. The teacher answered, "Time is relative. Slow it down with your mind." And so be it, she did it and she was able to dodge evry ball.

The question is, how do you "slow down time with your mind". Yeah, that sounds crazy, right. Maybe time slows down without you knowing it. They say that time slows down when you are not preoccupied. Is that true? Now what is it with time, really?

Ever heard of the movie "Wanted". Yup, that has everything to do with time also, that's why I love to watch it. But take note, I love to watch it not because of those fighting scenes and blood, but because it is time related. It puzzles me. Could that really happen in real life? What do you think? Could you shoot a bullet kilometers away from your target, not in a staright path but still hit the target bull's eye? Now that I think about it, this is really related to ballistics.

By relative, what do you mean by that? Relative, meaning it exist because it is related to something else or it is link to something else. So time is relative because it may be related to anything. Can we really determine time? When someone asked you, "How many hours has passed?" could you really answer with a definite 3 hours without looking at a watch? Argh! This is really confusing!

Well, I have this hobby of determining time by songs. The usual duration of a song is 3-5 minutes, right. I usually do this when I am waiting for a download hehe :).

But despite this post, it really didn't answer my question. I hope maybe someone may explain this to me. I'm jus curious...

Ever heard of the "negative ions"

2010-04-20T02:53:00.002+08:00

Last week - I guess - there were people who invade the office of my father, two woman and a man. The first woman, from what I heard is called Jesse. The other people are husband and wife, a happily married couple who loves sells sanitary napkins with a green strip inside which they believe to possess negative ions. If I'm not mistaken, I read about negative ions once and that really caught my interest. Negative ions are capable to releas one's stress, makes one extremely positive - that is totally ironic... Well, they are usually found near bodies of water.

So back to those people who were selling sanitary napkins with negative ions. They tested three brands of sanitary napkins. Two are famous and the other one is the one they are sellin. because of them, I found out that the sanitary napkins I am using are not "sanitary at all". *Gosh! I feel weird talking about this thing* So, I'll end it there because they totally strip the three sanitary napkins and compared them with one another. What I like about that experiment is when the guy poured water on them, and the product they are selling didn't get wet at all! It's really absorbent! Haha!

They said that before sanitary napkins were fabricated and distributed all over the world, disease like cervical cancer and dysmenorrhea didn't exist... Because they are not really "sanitary"- as what I have said earlier. The outside covering is made of rubber preventing air circulation while the inside is not made of pure cotton at all! And, this is what surprised me totally, the cotton - as they say - are "recycled materials". *Eww...gross...*

One more thing, they tried something on me. So, it is said that negative ion gives you strength. The guy made me stand with my feet at 45 degrees and my hands locked at my back. The guy placed his weight on me by pushing my locked hand downwards while I try to push in upward. Without that sanitary napkin, I couldn't force the hand upward and I struggle but when he just place it near my body, I dodge it. I don't know how that happened but I did hope to experience that when I watched the segment of Jessica Sojo about those things.

Yeah yeah that was totally amazing but the price is...you know. Though my mom plans to buy and be a member. I guse this is helpful to fight everyday stress for me. But do you think that's odd. How were they able to place negative ions on that green strip? If they are thinking that, "hey, this could be a great opportunity to earn money plus, we can help ourselves and others too." - well, I guess my mom thought that - but do you know what I thought? I thought, "Where the hell could I get these negative ions so that I could surround myself with it?!" Weird, right? But no matter how we prolong our lives, all of us will really come to an end... I guess humans really want to live eternally.

A New Someone...

2010-04-15T04:12:00.004+08:00

<---that would be him...(taken by my sister using my cell phone, i haven't seen this one before, only now...)

Once upon a time, a guy texted me asking who am I and how I got his number. I could not remember texting him and at first I thought it was a girl because of the name. We texted for a while and I enjoyed it. He seems to be nice. Then I asked my younger sister if she knew him because definitely, who would toy with my cell phone besides her? And so, she told me that he is her classmate. From that day on, I knew this person was something...

Days, weeks, months passed. I remembered my sister seeing him in SMCP when we were together accidentally. We were just entering the mall while they were going home already. I don't remember seeing him but my sister told me that that boy was my textmate.

Eventually, I was chosen to be the MC for my sister's graduation. I was very happy at that time. I didn't think I would meet him there...He's super cute and funny. His teachers always call his attention for he somehow loves to move around. His smile really is so eye-catching and he plays the guitar incredibly good! I won't say I love him but I should say I like him and I am very much enchanted by his smiles.

His name would be a secret...hehe :3

I'm staying up till morning!

2010-04-15T03:40:00.002+08:00

Yeah, I'm so awake!!

Just a while ago, I visited my webs account and I saw a comment about my favorite manga Daa! Daa! Daa!. It was from someone who calls himself/herself - I really don't know who this person is - SinfullyConceited. It was sent almost a year ago. I haven't opened that up since forever and I am surprised to see comments. I answered the question because I thought it would be nice to answer it though its really too late. And I'm really curious who this "SinfullyConceited" person is.

I also uploaded all the poems I can find in my webs acount and in here to my deviantart account. I quite enjoyed it really!

Someone I had to deal with...Guess who...hehe

2010-04-13T03:03:00.002+08:00

She is a very close person to me. I love her because she is special. But then as she grows up, she moving further and further away from me...I can't reach her anymore. I wasn't aware of the fact that she is growing up to be someone I didn't want her to be. Lately she's been very secretive and all her actions in clandestine. I was not like her when I was her age, 13. I was mature enough yet I didn't think about having a boyfriend. For me at that time, my education is what matters the most. And as I watch her secretly studying her every action, comparing what she has done now and what I had done before, I feel that she is more contented that I am. I had claimed the valedictorian title, got envied for my wits, talents and skills. But now, I feel unsatisfied on how I spent my grade six years....

She was able to be very close with her friends in school. She has a social life, while I did not. I had only started going with my barkadas in my second year in high school, yet she even in her grade four years, have been going in her friends' house. Truly, I envy her the way she envy. I envy her freedom, her notion to do what she wants and how she can fully develop her talent is playing the guitar. She's just graduated grade school yet she can play songs I wasn't able to play before and until now. Yes, I do envy her...

I have been always stuck with reaching the peak of expectations of people around me. I was not able to fully develop everything I enjoy because I had to be the top one; its my priority. I am not like any genius who could get something in a blink of an eye. I am not confident of what I am...I burn the midnight oil to attain that one thing I want - everyone's expectation...They have, I assure have high regards for me and I never want them to be disappointed. But when I think of her, everything that I had always planned vanishes, crumbling to tidbits as if I never made them.

At this moment time, she has a boyfriend, a guy younger than her by one year. I failed to notice before because I was preoccupied with my studies. Only then when I was practicing with them their graduation - I was the MC - have I noticed. I had to deal with their batch. Their batch is much different from ours. Teachers say they are the worst. Yes, frankly in attitude, but they seem to think ahead very further. I heard of young girls talking about their boyfriends and break-ups...Had they influence her? What has happened to my younger sister...?

I have confirmed that she really has a boyfriend in her camera for she captured a picture of their conversation talking about their relationship. I was shock to death. Was that really true? I had to talk to someone, but not my parents. No, not them. If I tell them, they might hurt her...

But now, I regreted not telling them. She's becoming worst. Her attitude is different, rude, is the term. Though we laugh, we share a lot of things, she seldom answer me back. But I never fought back - only when I couldn't take it anymore that I fight back. I have grown giving in to her every request just like any sister would do. Whenever we have a dispute, I'll just lock myself in our room and let the anger evaporate. Whenever she wants something that I want to, I just give in because she's younger than me and that's what my parents and my grand parents tell me. I don't know how long I would be able to do this.

Since when has she changed? When she had her facebook account? When she befriended to bad influence friends of hers? When she met her boyfriend? or because she was insecure of me? I know it that she always envy what I have but then I also know that she loves me as much as I love her.

Now, she can't take her hands off her camera. Day and night she would sit endlessly in front of the computer and open her facebook account.

Despite that she is a sweet loving girl though she seldom gets angry and fight with my little brother. I love them both...but what can I do to make them better as a person...? I wish I could understand what I am feeling now because terribly, it bores a hole in brain...It has consumed my thinking capacity and I realize I have to use my heart...

How are waves created....?

2010-04-13T02:44:00.003+08:00

1.) How are waves created in a swimming pool?
2.) How are waves created in a sea or an ocean...?

Well, this is one of the thoughts I had while waiting for our swimming pool to be filled with water... I thought of the tv commercial I had encountered which left a question like this: How are waves formed in a swimming pool? I was sitting comfortable on the not-yet-filled swimming pool with only foot of water fluttering my legs, open and close watching as I create waves myself. It was terrible fun! And while I was doing that I thought that waves in a swimming pool may be because of a greater force exerted to it than just the fluttering of ones feet in the water. A good example is a pump. So, I've answered the first question already...

Waves in the ocean or in the sea...Well, we need a much greater force than that pump much more of the fluttering of ones feet. I thought and thought. Could it be the movement of the sea creatures? But then compared to the vastness of the ocean they are too small to create such big waves. A much greater force...what could it be..?

Then my father came by the poolside. Because my mind is so confused, I passed the question to him. He answered me simply without even thinking, "You have been studying for so long, but you still don't know? You know that the earth rotates and revolves, right?" Right...and so the puzzle is finally solved. Well...it didn't cross my mind. He even set as an example the water in a basin. If you shake the basin, much more rotate it, it will create waves. Simple.

Yah, I've answered the question but that didn't filled the swimming pool...I had to be satisfied...

Whoa!!

2010-04-13T02:39:00.002+08:00

I'M GOING NUTS!!

It has been such a very long time since I last updated my blog and I'm telling you my mind's full of whatsoever that it might just crack anytime now! Damn, I think I'm going to blast! My head is full of so much thoughts!! Argh! I've been having mood swings since yesterday and I don't know if I can still get through everything...

Department Day/Class Day…

2010-03-24T21:35:00.001+08:00

Listening to: Yiruma's songs

Well…it is the department day. From the word itself, department, meaning "to leave". But I know that that does not mean that we have to forget the memories – laughters and pains – that we have shared together. Time moves really fast. Wasn't it only yesterday when I step on the stairs of High School life? Look at me now, I'll be a Senior this coming school year. Those Seniors whom I look up to are now leaving the grounds of St. John's Academy. Surely, I'll miss them so much…

Before the department day, we stayed inside our class room to practice for the Juniors performance for the Class Day. We had two songs, one is "Lean on Me" by the Glee and the other one is "Another Day" by Innervoices. They are two songs which are very hard to learn. The first one is really very high. Yes, I have a high range of vocals but that song is beyond my limits! The second one is not that familiar with us and its tune, melody and lyrics are so hard to remember. No matter how many times you listen to that song, you'll still have to have a copy when you sing it. Yesterday, I made an instrumental version of those songs.

The Class Day is a program held by the Seniors. I think its like the department day, only better. It started with the entrance of all the all the Seniors, no exceptions, even the MC who is Kuya Marvs. They had a very wonderful dance number! I had fun watching them!

It is for this day that we practiced those songs. Each level in high school will have its performance dedicated to the Seniors. One after the other, each year level performed with a little time in between. I really love the Class Prophecy! It is very inspiring with the time set in 2036 and everyone is very successful in their chosen career. I can't wait to have our Scrapbook for 2010!

One of the things I love about the class day is the video made by Kuya Erwin which shows how much their batch really love one another. It showcase a lot of pictures which reminisces the memories of them together. There were a lot of stolen shots from when they were enjoying their high school life. One clip was of Ate Kim saying goodbye to them. As far as I know she migrated to USA (I'm not sure). It might be hard to be apart from those that you love so much…

I wonder how our batch would spend this remaining year of our stay in this instition…That I am not certain of. We don't know what the future may bring but I do hope that it would give us pleasant memories to remember. As of now, when I remember everything the Seniors and us have shared, I can't help but praise them for such wonderful things they have done. They are my inspiration. They are great individuals…

And that brings down to how ungreat I am. Whenever I am with them, I feel so small especially when I'm with Kuya Erwin, Kuya Marvs, Kuya Rapha, Ate Krishna, Ate Talyn, and the rest. I don't know if I'll be able to make history like they have done. I don't know if I'll be a good leader like them. And I don't think I can outdo them nor can I reach what they have reached. But just by merely looking at them, listening to them, being with them makes me strive harder, to fight for what is mine and to live my life the way I want it to be. As I have already mentioned, they really are my inspiration…

Sometimes, I wonder if I am ready to be a Senior already. I'm so confused... My friend, a close friend, wants to be the president of GLEE Club. It is her dream. I also want to be the president of GLEE Club, but for her sake, I'm going to step down. I don't know why I'm like this… Whenever someone wants something that I want, I just give in so easily even though I know that its really for me. I think it started with my siblings. I used to be selfish before. But as I grow, my parents instill in me that I should always give in when it comes to my siblings because they are younger. And so, with everyone I encounter, I just always give in. I have no faith in myself nor do I believe that I am capable. I never believe that I could make something that would wow the world. And sometimes I wonder what those people like Michael Jackson, Charice Pempengco, Stephenie Meyer, and other famous people feel that a lot of people fancy them. When you really are an artist and you can draw this and that or when you're a very great singer who can serenade the whole world and can hit any note, I wonder how they feels…

I think this is going to far. Yes, I want to be the president of GLEE Club, but Rosedell wants that. So, I turn to ELC but then everyone is talking about Florenz. And so, I asked about the VAC and Jobelle wants that position too…For the SMCC, Niaowie wants that too…SCO, I think that's Eloise's. I don't know yet about the SC but for sure I don't want that. I'm not a PAC member so, how can I be an officer? Where do I belong…? T_T I'll just focus on being the valedictorian…? But where's the fun in that when all I have to do is to study? Wouldn't that be very boring…?

Oh-kay! I'll stop this thought! I'll stop here, ja!

Random Thinking…Again….?

2010-03-17T17:09:00.002+08:00

The test had passed but despite that, I still feel that there are a lot more things to do. I can sense that something might come…that I am not certain of. There's only 7 days left before the classes are over but I still have to attend until the closing exercises of the grade school and the high school department. I was assigned by my Composition teacher and at the same time my ELC adviser to be the master of the ceremonies for the graduation of the elementary. Then, Ate Olay asked me if I could participate in the GLEE Club performance for their graduation. I could I refuse? I have been wanting to sing for the graduation since I entered high school.

So…my summer would be spent like this: for the first month of vacation, I would be entering a review center to prepare myself for the college entrance exams. Then for the last month of vacation, if ever I would be chosen, I'll spend it productively by working in the bookstore in our school. I have always wanted to work in that bookstore. I know I have been earning money through printing and typing jobs I accept whenever I have time, but this time, it's quite different. I'll be really working for it. And I hope that Jazz, Sheng and I would be accepted.

Another thing is, I want to fill up all my shortcomings. I want to advance-study lessons for the upcoming year and I also want to practice more my guitar- and piano-playing skills as well as my singing and drawing skills because I'll be needing them for the upcoming year. I am going to a senior, many would depend on me and I am expected to be club officers. I wonder how I could balance all my time if I would be officers in several clubs. I've been wondering about that for a while because even I do not believe much in my skills. The seniors this school year have their own clubs. There is one for the SMCC, another for the ELC, then another is for the GLEE Club, then for the PAC, etc. They are divided. In our batch, that's quite impossible…I'm not saying that we are a very useless batch…

2010-03-07T18:43:00.002+08:00

Right now, I have just finished reading a manga called Love Survival by Sugiyama Miwako at Mangafox. I can’t imagine what emotions I felt while reading it. The story goes this way: Seri likes her childhood friend Kou-chan since they were young, but then the problem is Kou-chan likes Seri’s older sister, Nana who has a very strange love story – if that’s what you call it. Now, Seri has a classmate named Ikushi whom she gets advice everyday about her love for Kou-chan. Ikushi helps Seri every time she has a problem; he is her shoulder to cry on – that’s what I call it. Then, Ikushi suddenly said that he likes Nana, which I think is not true. Why? Because at that moment, I thought that it was just a way to help Seri.

As the story progresses, Seri’s love for Kou-chan deeply increases so as the hurt she is feeling everytime Kou-chan talks about Nana. Clearly, Kou-chan really loves Nana (Wait! Why do I call him Kou-chan anyway? I hate him!). It was very painful for Seri…I can feel her pain almost everyday…But don’t worry because Ikushi-kun is always there. He was the one who cheered her up when she was down, the one who never left when Kou did and most of all…he was the one who loved her even if she loved someone else…At the end, Ikushi and Seri ended up together.

Do you want to know what I feel about this? At first, it was really predictable, but as I continue reading it, it became crazy and I wanted more! It’s really short though, but I truly love it! I thought at first that maybe it would be like Dice, another manga I read which is kinda’ similar except for one: the one the girl likes from the start was the one she ended up with. Yup! That’s what I thought but looking at how the story goes, Ikushi was the one who was always there; the one who supports her and cheers her. So, I bet for Ikushi to end up with Seri.

Yet it really broke my heart…It was like my current situation, but I don’t have my “Ikushi” who would save me from the hurt and pain. It really is hard to love someone who loves somebody else, being jealous when you do not have the right to be. Everyday, that person you really love comes to you and story-tell his love for that certain girl, asking your opinion about love, saying how much he loves her, wondering if ever he would feel the same way about you…It hurts so much! Would it be better to just…let it go…? I remembered Ikushi’s three option for Seri: 1) give up, 2) wait patiently, 3) confess. Those are three simple choices which are very hard to take and to live with. This story really gives something. Although, I was happy that Seri ended up with Ikushi, it still pains me to think that in my reality, my Kou-chan will never really like me and Ikushi doesn’t really exist. Do you understand that?

Does that mean I have to give up my first love and go looking for the next one…? Well, that depends. I’ll think about it. I’ve already said what I want to say. Thanks for your time!

“Love is the most amazing thing that could happen to us but why do we hesitate to give it to others?”

Whew...I'm back....

2009-12-28T20:35:00.003+08:00

It seems a long time since I last did this…Such a long time since I last expressed what I feel inside of me. And I can say, yes, I am unhappy…There are a lot of things I’m uncertain about, a lot of things have been circling my head for so long. I couldn’t break this down to anybody for fear that they might just laugh at me. You know, I haven’t really found a real friend. Truthfully, I don’t want a best friend; I just want a true friend who would listen to me when I want to say something and in return, I’ll listen to him/her to whenever he/she needs my ears. I just want someone whom I can lean on to, one who would understand me the way I understand the things around me. Sure, I have plenty of friends, but no one – at least that’s what I think – knows me so well to understand and care for me.

I have had a friend, a really close one. Actually, until now, we’re still friends but the bond we have shared before, that bond seems to have disappeared…I don’t know what happened. I care for her very much and I expect nothing in return. She could tell me her problems at home and in school, but she seems so distant…I could feel that there is something that she hides from me with her new friend. I admit, I am jealous, but it’s normal, isn’t it? That, I cannot bring myself to tell her because…she’s not the same anymore…She has changed, though that change really made her more sociable than before, her grades somehow fell. She said she’s in love with somebody I know that she refuses to tell me. She named it “Daisuke” so that we can talk about him without her telling me. But then…I’m sick and tired of guessing! I want to know the truth. If I am a true friend would I be able to figure that out even without her telling me? She always tells me, “You’ll be the one to figure it out.” Isn’t that unfair? She could tell it to other people yet she can’t tell me.

Then, I had a thought that maybe we’re not meant to be friends. I can’t tell her my problems so afraid that she wouldn’t understand. No, I think the problem is me. I’m so secretive that I don’t want people to know what I feel, to know what I’m thinking. I’m afraid of letting people in my life because I’m scared of losing them. You see, I am an introvert person. Though I can make friends easily, I can’t keep them because maybe they get tired of me every now and then. Am I a boring person? I really can’t understand myself and others too. I never want anyone to step that invisible barrier I unconsciously made to protect myself from being hurt. But instead, I ended up hurting myself because of loneliness. Who is the loser now? I am.

Well, that’s just one of the things that bugs me. I want to change and I am trying to. I am trying to be sociable not like me before who is very shy and timid. I can say that there are some improvements for now, I can sing in front of everybody. I even join school programs. I don’t know what the problem is but that’s probably something about me. Should I invent my own imaginary friend to move on like what Elizabeth Egan of If You Could See Me Now to move on with my life?

Besides that, there are still a lot of things inside my head. I’m fifteen years old now and I still haven’t done anything that I could consider something that is an “accomplishment”. Sure, I’ve been teaching myself to play the piano, the guitar and sometimes I belt lots of high songs. I’ve had plenty of artworks and I’ve written a book of poems – not literally. Why does it seem to me that these, all of these are not accomplishments? Sometimes I’m thinking that I am thinking too high of myself even though I’m not that good.
Really, all these I’m thinking are full of nonsense, are they? They keep on bugging me these past few months. Enough of them because there’s a whole lot more! Want more? About love? I got it just for you!

Have you ever expected something that is really worth expecting for then in the end it didn’t come to you? That’s what I think about love…I’m too preoccupied with all the happily-ever-after books and mangas I read that those oh-so-romantic stories fill my head with the thought of my crush, the one I truly love the most is loving me secretly too, that that person is the one for me. But reality is way too different from those fantasies. I’m not Sleeping Beauty who would be rescued by my prince with the kiss of true love. Falling in love is such a wonderful thing. It is the one that inspires me to write those painful poems and those romantic short stories. It’s the reason why I want to write a novel and the very reason why I couldn’t write one. Unexplainable, isn’t it?

I have fallen in love with a guy before. He was a close friend when we were young yet as we age, our bond shortened. He was placed at a different section for 2 years and yes I’ve missed him. After that we became classmates again. He is different now from the way he was before. He was a charming cute guy, who defended me from his cousin, but now…I don’t know…He’s not rude; in fact he is a gentleman.

Two years ago, we became close again. Those were the most exciting part of my first year life. We would have conversations and I would be shaking. There he was still thinking of a girl he likes most and there I am thinking he likes me too. He carried my bag when we walk out of the classroom during dismissal time. He was concerned about me when I was sick. He offered me his Lemon Square cheese cake when I didn’t have my baon. He pinched my cheek and told me that he likes it when I say to the class, “Quiet!” He was always beside me…But do you know what I did? Yes, I was still friendly, but I distanced myself from him. I thought it would be best if we won’t spend much time together because I know that I would only like him more.

After that short experience of romance – at least that’s what I force myself to believe – he had appendicitis. For a week, I didn’t see him. For a week, I was so worried, praying for him to get better every night. When he came back…it’s as if nothing happened. We were back to the way we were before.

Now, I have accepted the fact that he has a girlfriend and he loves her so much. He is my seatmate in class, but we seldom talk. He’s either not in his proper seat or he is sleeping. It pains me even if I know the truth. Sometimes the truth really hurts…a lot. Yup, that was my first love and it was a failure. I wonder if he knows it. I didn’t bother asking him though the whole class knew. Maybe he knew it right from the beginning. I can make a novel out of that, right? But time really forbids me.

Then there was another one. He’s a close friend and I haven’t written any poem for him yet. He is one jolly, talented little guy who loves my drawings. I admire his sense of humor and his talent in drawing too. HE is a very neat person. It is unusual for a guy to be organized, yet he is so organized. If you see his notebook, they’re all clean because whenever he commits mistake in writing, he always has liquid eraser. He borrows so much from me when we were in second year, but I don’t mind that even if I get angry at him sometimes. He is a lovable person. I don’t know if I have feelings for him but one thing is for sure, I like him.

The silence is killing me! I can hear the ticking off the clock!

What else should I write? I’m out of words. Gotta go!!

Random Thinking.....

2009-02-03T20:29:00.004+08:00

These past few days, I have been so tired, especially last week. It seems to me that I am avoiding something and I know what that is. It's just that I don't want to accept it. I was thinking deeply as what to do if you found out that someone has a crush on you....how would you react to that? What would you do, if you are at that specific aspect of life? I have been with my classmates for almost eight years already and we are all growing up. Loving someone is a part of adolescent life. And I would be l lying if I tell you that I don't like someone. I'm a girl and that is really unavoidable. I've been close with some guys in my class and even with some from other year level. I treat everyone equally-whether be it a girl or a boy. The problem is....I don't want to get too close to someone, so close that I won't be able to take it if he leaves forever. I hate dying or even leaving for a long while. I don't want any relationships right now. I'm so not ready to have a boyfriend. You know, it's really weird of me for talking about these things. I don't usually mind it that much. But the thought of it really scares me. I know that I shouldn't escape this. I'm not the one who usually escapes problems. Although at times I want to, I just can't. You wouldn't believe that these things are coming from the mind of a fourteen-year old, would you? I'm so crazy over things lately. And I've been very forgetful of the world I am in. I just don't know what to do. It feels like I wanted to be in a coma for a year to stop problems from finding me....But that clearly doesn't solve anything. I know very well that that would only make matters worst....I know what I'm writing doesn't make any sense, so just bear with me, okay?

When it comes to relationship with a boy with commitment, I feel so weak. I love reading love stories especially mangas and novels. I love watching romantic films and love-related animes. I'm very touch by the kind of love story a couple has. I've always wanted something as good as the couples I admire from the books I read. But no matter how I idiotically long for something like that, I can't take the fact that I am too young for that. Right now, I don't want any of those, for I know that they would only bring troubles. There are guys in my school who has a crush on me. I could easily detect if one likes me or not. I could easily detect if he's purpose for befriending me is something else or he has pure intentions(to be my friend). But what's worst is that I don't know how to react to these things. I want frankly say it to them that I don't intend to have "anything" with them, but what I only do is to pretend that I can't feel it. How come I just can't be so true? I've to be honest always. But somehow, I just can't help but lie...Would you think I'm crazy? Maybe I am. That's an understatement, I am totally out of my mind, especially today. Maybe I'd be more crazy with each passing days. No one knows what the future would bring. No one know what would happen tomorrow and no one knows exactly what might took place which might scare us.

Homepages-friends.com

2009-01-08T18:46:00.001+08:00

I have just finished reading the whole Hana Kimi series!!

2009-01-02T17:32:00.002+08:00

Yay!!! I'm so happy!! At last i was able to read again Hana Kimi! I finished reading it just a while ago. And I spent the whole New Year just reading it. Can you imagine that? Haha! I'm such an otaku. But what can I do when I'm really like this? By the way, I really love the story. Every twist and turn of the story makes it so exciting that it gives me the temptation to read and finish it. Actually I've read this series before. But unluckily, because of my wanting for sweet and romantic scenes, I skipped some chapters. Hehehe :3 I'm stuck within the story that I can't move on. Well, the good thing about reading something(whether be it a novel, a short story, manga, comics or whatever) is it makes you long for more, especially if the plot really caught your eye. Just like what I just read. I'm so into it!!

I'm planning to buy the whole series. I mean the books, not the one scanned and
read on the net. I found something in www.sulit.com.ph. Each volume cause 180 pesos. All in all, it has 23 volumes. So, 180 multiplied to 23 would result to 4140 pesos. T_T I wonder if I can afford that!! I seriously want to buy them, the whole series. Meet-up is possible and there's no problem with that. But the money is what I am weeping for! Where could I get that amount? And I don't think my parents would spend that much for me. After all, my dad just bought me a piano. But I do really want that!! What should I do? Gosh I need to be serious in being a distributor in NRich Marketing. I need to sell to earn. Where should I start? I know all about the products and somehow I've researched about the ingredients it has. And I found them really effective! Take for example my father, he is taking one of their products, Kamangi. Now he has recovered from a heart ailment. There was a block on one of his arteries I guess. Well, I even thought that we might lose him. Thank goodness, this opportunity came. Haha!

Can I share something with you guys, even if it's really not related? Well, I'm troubled. It's as if I don't want yet to go to school. On Monday we'll already be going back to school. Actually there are certain reasons why I don't want to come to school yet. Keep this a secret, will you? There are guys whose been chasing me. Although they don't admit it, I can sense it. You see, I'm this kind of person who can understand people's action. It's weird, right? It as if, I can understand what one is feeling. For example, you have a crush on me. That's only an example, okay? Then, there you are making your move or you're always beside me. And sometimes, you ignore me. And then sometimes, you would ask something. Argh! It's really noticeable! And before that leak out, I already know that. That's how it is. To be honest, sometimes I wish my way of looking at things isn't like this. I wish to be innocent just like some of those manga girls. Haha! What am I talking about all of a sudden? I want to be like them who don't even notice if someone has a crush on them .Well, that's all. I feel really relieved. Arigatou ne!

My Newest poems!!!

2008-12-29T15:37:00.003+08:00

Yo! Girls, here are some heart-breaking poems I've made in the last few days. Haha! They are so emotional according to my classmates. Well, you couldn't blame a person whose down for a long time. I just took advantage of the fact that I was depress and I got my Pilot ball pen and began writing. They aren't only for girls. So guys, feel free to read them so that you'll know how we feel. Haha :3 So here are they! I hope you'll enjoy!!

Why Did it Become Like This?

We were friends when we met

But now I truly regret…

I don’t know what I’m feeling

When will my broken heart begin its healing?

Yes, I know we’re only friends.

Nothing’s gonna change till the end.

Though it hurts me just to see you,

I just can’t stop thinking about you.

Each day we spend together

Let’s just don’t forget the laughter.

But why did it become like this?

When you’re with me, I just can’t resist.

Don’t look at me just as a friend

You don’t even know what that’s meant.

Hiding this from you makes me feel so sad.

Even though you’re always glad.

It’s been a while since I got feeling

Just can’t forget the hurt it brings.

I am a friend to you, at least

But why did it become like this?

10-14-08

Someday…

Someday life would change

Someday we’ll be free from this restless sage.

When that day come, let’s all be happy!

Because your happy face is what I want to see.

Happiness will never stay for a long time.

So let’s cherish every mountain we climb.

Maybe someday sadness will come and stay.

That would darken each of our days.

Though it’s hard to live this through,

Never would I forget you.

Even on the day when you must leave

I’ll give everything that I could see.

You’ve known me for so long

And you’ve heard my every song.

I promise that I will not cry

Even if you have to say goodbye.

Someday life wouldn’t be the same as now.

But I can’t promise a vow.

Leave me as you may

But just don’t let my clouds turn gray.

I’m sorry for every wrong I did

To you I’ll never show any greed

Simply just let this moment be

The one thing that would make me happy.

Yes, I know we’ll meet again

Though I don’t know how, where or when.

Here on my bed as I lay

I am hoping for that “someday…”

10-17-08

Why Love…?

Love is so hard to understand.

It’s something felt by every man.

It’s something ever I couldn’t figure out.

But the it seldom makes me pout.

Am I in love already?

Look at what it has done to me.

I wanna know how to control

This heart of mine which always fall.

Every time I see your radiant smile

Makes me feel so happy that makes me wanna cry.

Each time you come so near

Everything around me is so unclear.

Why does it hurt so much?

It feels like my heart will soon crash.

Now I’ve learned that it can not be.

You just can’t be with me.

Why do I feel this way?

These feelings I just can’t say.

Please tell me you love me too

Or else my heart would turn blue.

Why is it that in even in my dreams

You’re always there as it seems?

I just can’t stop thinking of you

In whatever I say or do.

10-30-08

Nais Ko

Ayokong magkalayo tayo.

Nasi kong lagi kang nanadito.

Bakit ba kailangan lumisan ka?

Paano pa magiging masaya?

Hindi mo man alam ang nadarama,

Sana nama’y makita ka.

Kahit pa mahal mo siya

Hindi ako titigil sa nadarama.

Subukan manga ibaling sa iba ang tingin.

Limutin ka’y di ko kayang gawin.

Ang puso ko’y nagsusumamo

Maaari bang manatili ka na lang dito…?

Hindi ko alam kung anong mangyayari

Ano na nga ba ang tama sa mali?

Ang nadarama ko bna’y totoo?

O para lamang ba kong batang naglalaro?

Para bang hindi na ko mabubuhay.

Para ba akonh\g nalulumbay.

Bakit ba kailangan lumisan ka?

Nais ko lang na makasama ka.

10-30-08

Being Your Friend

I’m in love with someone.

I don’t know how it’s done.

I don’t know when it started.

Maybe form the first time we met.

Friends. That’s all we’ve ever been.

There’s nothing more to be seen.

No matter what happen

I’ll always be just your friend.

How it hurts for me to keep this!

When I’m with you I just can’t resist.

I want to hold and hug you.

I want to say, “I love you.”

You tell me how you feel about her.

For me, it all becomes clearer.

Don’t you know how this affects me?

Lying about my feelings to make you happy.

Night and day, I’m filled with thoughts of you.

What can you do now that I’m feeling blue?

Please tell me you love me too.

‘Cause I can’t always pretend to be a friend to you…

-11-13-08

Your Friend

What should I do?

I don’t know if I really love you/

You’re always beside me

Whether you’re sad or happy.

You ask you me for favors sometimes

And I’m always willing to help anytime.

You’d always be there teasing me

With someone I really don’t like in reality.

How it hurts my heart to know

How much you love her so!

But what can a friend do?

I really mean nothing to you.

I love to see those tender smiles

Which touches your lips every once in a while.

How I hate to see you unhappy!
It makes my heart ache so terribly.

Through the myriad stars above,

I’ve come to realize whom I really love.

No matter what it’s called, love or infatuation

You’re always present in my imagination.

Wish that I could replace

The one person who caught your gaze

But no matter what I do,

I’ll always remain a friend to you.

11-18-08

Our Love is Like the Spring

Spring. My most waited season.

I love its beauty without any reason.

The sun’s rays sparkles with everything.

It’s beauty for me has no definite meaning.

Our love is like the spring,

Can’t imagine the joy it brings.

But just when I thought that our love has started

You went away and forgot it….

Our love’s new just like the spring flowers.

The happy memories are what we shared together.

I’m just wishing on a star tonight,

That our spring would end up right.

Time passes by so fast.

Soon spring would never last.

Would that be the end of all we had?

Will this be the reason I’ll be sad?

But just like night and day

Seasons change as they pass our way.

Spring, it may the most beautiful of all seasons,

But it’s end will come and soon everything will be gone….

I thought that this will be forever.

I thought we can stay forever.

But just as the spring ended

You said goodbye and turn your head…

12-01-08

I’m Sorry

I wanted to see you right now…

Please don’t make me sad now.

I just want to see your face

The one thing that keeps me amazed.

I’m sorry for what I’ve done.

I’ll make up to you, I’ll never run.

Will you every forgive me?

How will I make you happy?

Just that I thought you’re just a friend

I proved myself wrong and my broken heart can’t be mended.

Tell me what I should do,

When my heart’s been torn apart by you?

It hurts me so much to bear all of this.

So just let it pass and open your angry fist.

I can feel your sadness within me.

Myriads of different emotions start tingling within me.

I hope that the next moment I’ll see you

You’ll be the person I once knew.

Let’s put things back to the way they used to be.

Because I just can’t bear to see unhappy.

11-30-08

My Mistake

Please give me a chance to explain.

You don’t know that I’m in so much pain.

I want you to know the truth

Of all the things I hid when my mouth’s in mute.

No, I don’t want anymore of these fights.

Even at night, I can’t sleep tight.

No matter what happened in the past,

Let’s forget about it and focus on what’s a must.

There’s no solving if we’ll let this be

My heart’s all torn apart and you can see

That there’s one thing I want to say.

To tell you, “I’m sorry.” So please forgive me as you may.

My heart’s burning inside.

With the temptation to be by your side.

If you would believe the truth in what I’m saying,

Then I’ll really be rejoicing.

So please don’t let this last for so long

Because I want to right whatever I did wrong…

12-03-08

Have you heard about the NRich Marketing?

2008-12-01T20:11:00.003+08:00

NRich Marketing is a kind of network marketing. All in all, they only sell 2 kinds of products but they $250 M a month, I think. Proudly, I can say that their products are trustworthy. My father drinks one of them which is called the Kamangi. He suffered from a heart ailment. He was even admitted into the ICU. But now, he has only taken 3 weeks I think, and he can already drive alone without my mother. He even thought that maybe he'll not last long. Of course I don't want that to happen. Never would I want that to happen.

One of the benefits of this company is that it can help you earn money. With just $155 or 8000 pesos as your capital you're privileged to earn more than $900 a day. I accepted the offer because there's so many things I want to do. Maybe with this I can be sure of my future. Whenever I'm in a state of reverie there are so many things that I want to do. There are so many people I want to help. Maybe with this, I can fulfill my wishes and at the same time, I can help other people earn too. Right now, I have to find more members and at the same time I can help those people who are willing to join.

The one who headed the seminar is Mr. Winnie Villarama. I love the way he discussed about the network marketing of the company. According to him, he's been on the marketing world for 14 years. And believe me or not he already had a stable income when he's only 21 years old. I envy him. He's really good! He's a civil engineer. But he left his career just for NRich Marketing. According to him, he's earning not good, but excellent. And when he was asked when he's serious, he said that he's very very serious about it. So I encourage everyone to try, just try. There's no harm in just trying.This maybe your chance to make your dreams come true.

My Newest Poems!!

2008-11-28T22:16:00.002+08:00

Hey guys!! Here are my newest poems!!

I Just Can’t Say Goodbye

Loneliness fills my soul today.

There’s just so much that I can’t say.

Forgetting, leaving, reminiscing each mem’ry

Why is it so hard to stay happy?

How could this possibly be?

There are voices inside of me

Ringing out something to me

Shall I say it now or not?

Or they’ll never know until this secret rot?

Oh, why this so many thoughts?

Everyday I come and go

Hearing voices high and low

Why can’t I just say it straight?

In myself, don’t I have any faith?

Where would I be led by fate?

My time is slowly running out

What would happen if I won’t shout this out?

I just can’t confess something so bad

When I can see that their faces are so glad.

What should I do, God?

Why do I face such a dilemma?

My life now is like a melodrama.

Living with this situation I am in

Seems like I’m about to give in.

In my illness, isn’t there a medicine?

I just can’t live up to this

Maybe all they can do is just to reminisce

My face, my smile, my every gesture

They’ll miss me for sure.

But this so much pain, I just can’t endure.

I’ve got so much to say, so much to mention.

In my heart, there’s just so much emotion.

I promise myself I’ll never cry

Telling you all of these I just can’t sigh.

Because I just can’t bid you all goodbye.

-10-12-08-

Until I Met You

Here I am, standing all alone.

Staring at the starry sky on my own

I am wanting, waiting for someone to come

This torment I’m feeling, I just can’t succumb.

It’s so impossible to get through the day

I’m lost in a puzzle, I can’t find my way.

In every situation, bad or good,

There’s no one to share my every mood.

I need somebody to share my fears

In this era of loneliness, silence is all I can hear.

I’m longing for someone in this life of mine

There’s just something I’ve got to find.

But all of these disappeared.

Now every problem I face is cleared.

There are memories to reminisce

And a friend to share with ev’ry piece

Since that day that I saw your smile,

I feel I could travel a thousand mile.

I’m not standing alone no more

At the starry sky, we both can soar.

Anything for you I’m willing to forgo.

That’s how much I love you so.

With you by my side I’m always zealous.

I’m not the old me who’s always jealous.

For now I’m no longer staring at the sky alone

We watch every sunrise and wait for the dawn.

Impasse right now are solved even if there’s new

All impossible seems so true

That all happened when I met you.

-10-13-08-

So I Say Goodbye

There’s something I’m longing to tell you

Believe me! All this is true

There’s something I really need to say

But I just can’t with each passing day

Ever time I pass your way.

I’m sorry for lying

But here I am, I’m nearly dying.

I can’t afford to wear a smile

When all I can say are all lies

I promised I’ll never cry.

I’m facing something so harsh

With each passing night, I miss you so much

There’s something I really need to mention.

But it’s counted my every motion.

I think I’m about to finish my mission.

Almost night and day, I see your face.

But your happy smile has all the grace.

You don’t know what’s happening to me

I hope that you can see

That I just can’t be that happy.

Now the light of my candle is almost dispersing.

Everything that’s happening is so surprising.

All the memories we had are stuck in my head

They’ll never fade, even if I’m dead.

I’ll cherish everything you ever said.

I have so much to say my friend.

You’ll be in my heart till the end.

It’s almost time and I’ll be gone.

I won’t ever forget our ev’ry fun.

Until I see my setting sun.

I know you’ll miss me so much

That’s why I’m telling you this in rush.

Even if I’m gone you’ll always stay

My light will keep burning on your way.

So hate me and everything as you may.

Please understand my situation.

I’ll never forget your intuition.

Promise me you’ll never shed a tear and never cry.

Today maybe the day I’ll die

And so my friend I say goodbye

-10-13-08-

TWILIGHT!!!!!!!

2008-11-26T19:35:00.002+08:00

OMG!!!! A while ago we just watched the Twilight movie!! It's so romantic!!! I love Edward Cullen and Emmett! They're super cool!! I watched it with my two friends and my sister. We watched at Greenhills Theater Mall at exactly 3:55. We rushed to get there on time. Our dismissal time's 3:10. My house is just a stone's throw away so we just walked. Then we took the jeepney to Greenhills with my friend. Then we met with my other friend there. I thought we'll never make it on time, but when we got there, there are still vacant seats. We seated ourselves at back. It's cold there and we can see and hear it clearly. OMG!! It's really good!! I can't wait for the sequel! Edward's really cool!! I love Edward and Bella's first kiss!! Even though it's different from the book, I still love it!!

My Newest Poems!!!!

2008-10-12T18:07:00.001+08:00

Never Wanna Be Alone

No, I don't want to be alone
I never want to be on my own.
I'm scared to lose someone important.
I'm scared to lose this world so pleasant.

No, I would never be alone again.
I never want to lose my friends.
Now I already know
That love is what I have to show.

I prayed to be with you always
“I'll stay with you,” that's what you always say.
But you left me very scared...
I forgot the joy we shared.

Here I am alone once more
Without you here, I can't endure
This pain I'm feeling when I'm on my own.
Oh! I never wanna be alone...
-06/01/08

Farewell's Not the End

Each day of my life is complete.
Whenever I see your smile so sweet.
Laughter is all we ever have
There's just so much that we love.

But something happened along the way...
Something that darkened my better days.
I've learned that I have to go
Somewhere else you do not know.

My happy days become so sad.
Why do I have to leave this lad?
How will I tell you all of this
When all I think is you whom I'll miss?

One day, I watched the sun goes down.
Maybe it's my last day here in town.
You called out my name and ran to me.
My world turned bright and I can see.

We've shared this very moment together
Nothing can come between us forever.
I know that this is not where it stops.
I know someday, I'll meet the boy I once loved.
-06/03/08

Hoping...

Every time I see you coming near
I always stumble and I always fear
You are the one that my heart beats for
Everyday I always love you more.

Although I deny it every time
I know in my heart your still the one
I just don't want any one to know
How much I love you so.

Any simple conversation with you
Makes my heart feel something new
Every time you come near me
A dream replaces my reality.

No words can describe how I feel
I don't even know if this is for real
'Cause up until now I'm still hoping
That you'll give me your loving.
-07/31/08

I Love You

Once in my life I've met someone
Whom I love dearly than anyone.
He's the only person whom I've love
Although in times, because of him I sob.

Nevertheless the pain and suffering
I've never stopped loving him.
Even if he loves someone else
This is how its meant, I guess...

But no matter how hard it maybe
I will always be here
'Cause I'm hoping that one day
I'll have my chance to say
“I love you.”

Living With Just a Memory

Look at me. What can you see?
A girl with a teary eyes maybe.
I can still remember that day
When you looked at me and say,
“I love you.”

Oh, how you changed the lonely me!
With you, I know I'll never be lonely
I wish I can stay with you
Till the day we'll be through.

We were happy. Yes, we were.
That very day, we're even merrier.
But as you came to me from the other side of the street,
A truck came rushing! You fell on your feet.

I came running to you, shouting,
“Jay, Jay! Don't go!! Please! Stay!!”
But it's useless...I was begging for help!
Yet everyone just stared and left.

You said while you were dying,
“Eli, I...I lo-love you...” I was crying!
All of our dreams were shuttered into pieces.
Nothing was left, not even hugs nor kisses.

Nothing! Nothing...But I can still reminisce
Even at night, you're always in my dreams.
'Cause now it's only plain to see
It's hard living with just a memory...
-9/11/08

Ako'y Maghihintay

Mayroon kang dapat malaman...
Ang puso ko'y nasasaktan
Sa tuwing ika'y namamasdan
Bakit ka laging lumilisan?

Bakit sa dami ng tao sa mundo,
Ikaw pa ang tinibok ng puso ko?
Ikaw na walang pake alam
Sa akin ba'y wala kang pakiramdam?

Nais kong humiling ng isang panalangin
Sana sa akin ika'y tuminging.
Napakahirap namang pigilin and damdamin
Sana nama'y panalangin ko'y dingin.

Sa aking mga panaginip
Laging naroon ka't sumisilip.
Habang ang hangin ay umiihip,
Ikaw lamang ang laman ng isip.

Kahit abutin man ng habambuhay
Sa iyo ako'y maghihintay
Kahit pa ako'y nalulumbay,
Ako sayo'y maghihintay...
-09/29/08

My Poems!!

2008-10-12T17:59:00.002+08:00

Love of a Friend

We’ve been friends since we met,

But my love for you I won’t regret.

You always make my life complete.

My love for you, I won’t forget.

You always love me as a friend,

And I will love you till the end.

I never know just what to do,

How to return my love to you.

I won’t forget the way you smile,

I won’t forget the way I cried.

You comfort me in every strife.

You brought laughter to my life.

Sometimes you will say,

“That’s just a problem along the way,”

And I will always say to you,

“Thank you friend, I love you.”

I tried not to cry all these tears

That I hold back along the years.

Cause now I have to say goodbye.

Goodbye my friend, I hope we’ll meet again.

Let Me Tell You

Let me tell you this:

When I’m gone, I’ll truly miss,

Your smile which is so gentle,

Your personality that’s so beautiful,

The beauty of your face,

I wanted to stare, I wanted to gaze.

I’m sorry for telling you this now,

But my life is so short, so I cannot vow

A promise to stay by your side

And to you I cannot hide,

This secret I’ve been keeping for so long.

I might cease from living, but I must be strong.

And this you must understand:

I will be gone, but you’ll still be the one.

Even if I die, forever you’ll stay

In my heart, no matter what happen along the way.

This might be our last goodbye,

So I’ll tell you, “I love you,” that’s not a lie.

True Friend

Am I a good friend?

Are you a true friend?

Didn’t I do everything to make you happy?

But why? When I need you, you always fly?

Everything I did to make you happy.

Everything I did to make you see.

But why can’t you stay with me when I’m down?

Why can’t you be there when I frown?

Am I a true friend to you?

Am I someone you can turn to?

Are you someone I can run to?

Where can I find a person so true?

In my journey in my life, I tried to,

To find a friend that is better that you.

I need someone that I can consider,

A true friend who will give me laughter.

Last Goodbye

Somewhere in my memory, I remember,

You and I laughing together.

Somewhere in my memory, I recall,

You were there every time I fall.

But how come you left me?

You are everything I wanted to be.

I thought you’ll always be there,

I know you always care.

Since that day, I feel so alone.

It’s seems that I’ve been abandoned.

I was just a kid that time,

How could you go and pass by?

You promised me to buy that bicycle.

You promised to buy it all.

But that’s not what I need,

Just stay with me as I was a kid.

Now, I accept that you can’t return.

Heaven got you, my heart truly burn.

To you I offer my sighs,

Until we wave our last goodbye.

Arigatou

Arigatou, for being my friend

For being there no matter when.

Thank you for the time we've spent

Meeting you, I won't regret.

Arigatou for the times we've shared,

because I know you always care.

When I'm with you, I feel laughter.

When I'm with you, nothing matters.

And I want to thank you

For being there in everything I do.

I want to say this to you,

I always care, Arigatou.

Inspiration

You are somebody that I admire.

You're somebody that I desire.

You are everything that I aspire.

You are the one I desire.

You are with me in my thoughts as I sleep.

You are the one that I love so deep.

Your company is that I want to keep.

When I'm with you my heart would leap.

You give me the feeling I've never felt before.

Your beauty is the reason that I love you more.

When I'm with you I feel I can soar.

I wanted to walk with you on shore.

When I'm in trouble, you are my reason.

When I think of you, I see a new season.

To you, I'll give all my dedication,

Because you are my inspiration.

I Need Somebody

I’ve been hidden inside my wall.

I’ve been waiting for someone to call.

I’ve been wanting to get out

Of this world full of doubt.

I‘ve been locked by my own emotions.

I’ve been here since that first motion.

I’ve banned myself to hear anyone

Until I found someone.

Help me put of this world full of sadness.

Help me! Please! I want to rest.

I need help form you, please come to me.

I just wanted to be free.

Everyone, please feel my presence.

Why did all of you become so dense?

Please, I want to get out of this world of fears.

I hate it, please wash away my tears.

Here I am still feeling sadness and longing.

Longing for someone to come and bring

A world full of happiness where there are no lies.

Until this loneliness from me subsides.

Every time

Every time I think of you,

I feel my heart beat so.

Every time that I see you,

I feel something I didn’t know.

Everyday, I’m filled with thoughts of you.

Everyday, I wanted to see you.

You are my reason to live.

Everything, to you I’ll give.

You made me feel special.

I didn’t mind your denial.

And I don’t want to waste

The only time I’m going to see your face.

I Love You

My life was worth living because of you.

Everyday, I close my eyes, I see you.

You made my life complete each day.

I want to tell you in any way

How much I love you

And how much I need you.

Of all the girls I’ve met before,

You are the one that I adore.

Even though sometimes I tease you,

The truth is I love you.

I’m sorry for hiding it.

But now it’s time for me to say it.

Every time I think of you,

Happiness is what I feel.

Every time I look at you,

All my pains would heal.

I want to say these words to you:

I want to say how much I love you.

- February 12, 2008 (9:20-9:30)

- I was imagining myself as a boy who loves someone…

Pag-ibig ko Sa’yo

Nais kong Makita ka

Kahit may kasama kang iba.

Hangad ko ang kaligayahan mo

Kahit nasasaktan ako.

Mahirap man tanggapin,

Ito ay aking pipilitin.

Masakit man sa damdamin,

Ito ay aking iindahin.

Alam kong hindi mawawala an sakit na nadarama.

Kaya habang nakikita kita,

Lumalayo na lang ng kusa.

Dahil alam kong mahal mo siya.

Pilitin mang wag masaktan,

Hindi pa rin maiwasan.

Ang sakit na nararamdaman

Ayaw mawala ng lubusan.

I Shouldn’t Have Loved You

This is a poem I made for you

It tells how my love for you is true.

Even though I know you never knew,

When I’m with you, I don’t know what to do.

Everything I’m feeling, it’s all here.

I’ll say it to you without any fear.

Even if I stumble when you come near,

I know to myself, I love you so dear.

It’s only you that I’ve come to love

You’re the only one I ever have.

Never, I am not going to give up,

The dream that I can lay safely on your lap.

I admit it, it hurts me when you don’t look at me.

It hurts me when you don’t notice me.

That no matter what I do, it just can’t be.

I wonder when can you see me?

Why did I let this happen?

Now I see my falling heart being bent.

Just being close to you is just what I intend.

I shouldn’t have loved you then.

Sa Iyong Paglisan

Kung ako’y maghihintay,

Ikaw ba’y darating?

Kung sayo’y mawawalay,

Bakit pa magigising?

Sa’yong paglisan sa akin,

Ano ang aking gagawin?

Sana nama’y dinging

Itong munting panalangin.

Huwag ka nang lumisan

At dito na lamang.

‘Pag ‘di ka namasdan,

Mamatay ay malamang.

Dahil sa mahal kita,

‘Di ko kayang mawalay ka.

Kaya’t pakiusap ko sana,

‘Wag ka nang lummisan pa.

- 05/27/08

Life’s Endless Trouble

There are some things in life I just don’t understand.

Why do we have to face the final stand?

In this world we are living, life’s full of misery,

When can this world be happy?

Sometimes when life gets too hard,

I usually stay crying unguarded.

Hope is eaten by the darkness of life.

In this world, why do we have to face our strife?

Oh, how I wish I could live better!

How I wish my life would be sweeter!

Every time that trouble chases me,

A world of darkness I can see.

Let our minds be free from troubles.

I don’t want to live this life as a novel.

Whenever I feel myself being down,

I just fall and break down on the ground.

Please let me live another day!

I want to survive a day, I pray.

But when life gets to uneasy,

Give me hope, for my mind to be free.

- 05/28/08

Daa! Daa! Daa!

2008-09-27T21:48:00.002+08:00

Finally!!! I already have the full series of Daa! Daa! Daa! I'm super happy!! The ending was so touching!! I can't believe that I'll ever have it. I really happy!! The thing is it is in Japanese. It's okay because I can read it. After a long year of searching, I finally found it!! Ureshii!!

Eclipse...

2008-09-27T20:50:00.004+08:00

Last Thursday, I was able to finish Eclipse last Thursday...It was so emotional for me, especially near the end. The story goes like this: Bella is being protected from Victoria and a bunch of newborn vampires. The most emotional part was when Bella realized that she also loves Jacob. They kissed at that part which last for three pages, I think. The thing is Bella loves Edward more. He's her life. She can't live without Edward. And you know when Edward figured this out, he didn't even got angry. How can someone be so nice?! He loves Bella so much that he can't get angry at her. He never hurt her. Well, in the second book, New Moon, he hurt her so much.

I don't want to know what will happen to Jacob next. The story is so emotional that I got carried away. I even cried reading it! I pity Jacob because he didn't get what he wants. Who will be with him? I really like Bella-Edward pairing, but what will happen to Jacob? Bella and Edward will be married in the fourth book. I'm so excited for the sweet scenes between them at the next book! They're so good together. I'll absolutely watch the Twilight movie this coming November!! I'm so onto it! It's so romantic. While reading it, I always anticipate Edward and Bella's scenes. But when it comes to Jacob and Bella, it seems that I don't want to read anymore....

I have just finished reading Twilight!!

2008-09-20T13:44:00.004+08:00

Has anybody heard of the Twilight series by Stephenie Meyer? Of course, I think everyone knows that series! Well, I have just finished the first book just a while ago. I started yesterday when my classmate lent it to me. I thank her so much! I love how the story progress and now I'm wanting for more!! It's full of romance and suspences that makes it fun to read. Too bad the next book is out of stock. Now I wonder how the creative mind of Stephenie Meyer made this interesting story! She may really be illusory. I found myself wanting more and more as I continue reading. Somehow I have the same personality as Bella Swan. We both act cool in strange situation. We're both capable of thinking so much and we love privacy. I envy beautiful creatures as she did. How I wish I could meet my Edward Cullen! Someone who would protect and stay with me through the rest of my life. One more thing that Bella and I both have is that we don't dance. I sing, not dance. I hope I have the chance to buy the whole series just like my other classmates. Yup, I'm not as rich as they who can buy almost anything. Well, I hope I am, but property is transitory...I can't bring those sparkling golds to my grave, right?

So back to the story, Edward must really be handsome. Imagine how Bella fall for him and how she describes his physical features! I guess he must be a very dazzling creature. I picture him just like Kyohei from Yamato Nadeshiko Shichi Henge. How lucky must be Bella to have a hero who would save her in all her misery! I'm really surprised that I finished the book very fast. I don't really read that fast, except if that is really interesting. It really caught my interest and I'm using it for my Book Report. That's how much I love the story!

Seemingly impossible, but I wish vampires really exist. Vampires like Edward, I mean. Those good vampires. One day I want to meet one. I have read so much about vampires especially in reading manga. I so love them all!!

I'm Bored....

2008-09-13T21:00:00.002+08:00

Shocks!! I'm so bored...It's as if I'm looking for something but I don't know what I'm looking for. I'm doomed!! I have just finished a poem a while ago.

IF ONLY…

IF ONLY I COULD, I WOULD FLY TO YOU
WITH WINGS THAT SERAPHS MY EVERYTHING.
IF ONLY I COULD, I’LL SEEK FOR TH TRUE HUE
OF EVERY MELODY THAT I LONG TO SING.

IF ONLY I COULD TURN THIS WORLD INTO A NIRVANA
WITH ALL THINGS THAT’S BRIGHT AND BEAUTIFUL.
IF ONLY I COULD LIVE A DREAM OF FANTASIES,
I WOULD NEVER BE REGRETFUL.

IF ONLY PAIN AND SUFFERINGS WOULD END
THEN I’D LIVE MY LIFE PEACEFULLY.
IF ONLY EVERY PEOPLE COULD BE CALLED A “FRIEND,”
THEN LIFE WOULD RATHER BE HAPPY.

IF ONLY EVERYONE COULD BE CONTENTED
AND WON’T BE INSATIABLE OF EVERYTHING,
THEN SOMEHOW, THERE’LL BE NO FACTIONS
AND NO HEARTS WOULD BE ACHING.

DREAMING…IF ONLY YOU COULD SEE MY PAINS,
IF ONLY YOU’D HEAR ME CRY IN THE POURING RAIN.
HERE I AM…CRYING AND VERY LONELY.
YOU CAN BARELY SEE ME. SOMEHOW, IF ONLY…

-09/13/08-

I Did Not Make It to The Finals...

2008-09-10T21:27:00.002+08:00

Just a while, we held our Declamation Contest Semi-Finals. We were really happy while practicing in the auditorium. But I don't know what happened...I am contestant no. 5. When I started declaming, it was good. I really don't know what happened. When I was in the second stanza, I was mental blocked. I am very happy because I recited the whole poem and that I won't have to recite anymore for the finals. Its one of my stresses, upcoming events. While me, and my two other classmates failed to make it, two others made it to the finals! My best friend Jobelle and one of my close friend, Ariane. The contestants were really good. While they were reciting, I feel really small. Its as if I don't have a place there...Well, whatever happened. Even if I failed to let myself qualified for the finals, the good thing is that I've given my best!

OMG!! Its our declamation already!!

2008-09-08T23:24:00.002+08:00

On September 10, 2008, or school will be having its annual declamation contest in which I am a contestant. Surely, I have memorize the piece, but the tension I feel won't go away!! Good thing, my friend Aiko is here to help me. He's older than me and he will help do the actions! Its Aiko to the rescue!!! My piece is long. I don't know what to feel! You know, the Declamation Contest will be the nest event but my head is focusing on SJA Idol. I'm out of head!!! And currently, I've been forgetting a lot of things, even the names of some of my friends and some simple words! I finding myself weird nowadays. I don't know what to do. But the good thing is, lately I'm not having any nightmares.

ここ　に　いる　よ!

2008-09-07T00:02:00.002+08:00

Currently, I'm reading this manga called Koko ni Iru Yo! I so love it! Imagine! I'll be so lucky if I were Sumino-san. Actually, I haven't finished the series, but I'll definitely finish it! I'm reading it at www.onemanga.com. Sumino is so lucky. She's just plain and is usually not known in her school, even in her class. She had a blog where she writes everything that she thinks. Her blog is her real self. She had been chatting with the two most popular guys in her school, Teri and Hinata. But I don't know if the two of them knows that the one with the username "Sunflower" is Sumino. One day, Sumino and her groupmates went cleaning. I think they were cleaning the gym. Then the girls she was with locked her up. She was crying.*I lucky I wasn't like her, I'm not like her and not that popular too. But you know, I never had a crush who liked me back. Good for her!* But Hinata found her. I really love that scene!! Hinata said that he had been looking at her for a long time already. So sweet!! In the next chapter, he confessed to her!! I really love it!! I hope I'm the same as her!! If I would be confessed by my crush, I would definitely lose my mind!

Why Do I Still Ask For More?

2008-09-05T18:59:00.003+08:00

For so long, I've lived the life of a Ritz Bernal. I have faced so much problems and happiness. Living as a middle class, why do I still ask for more? Why is it that I'm never contented with what I have? Why can't I be happy? My family is complete right? I have realized something, when my friend shared her story to me...
She lives with a broken family. She and her brother stays with her mom, her sister stays with her aunt, while her dad lives separately from them. She said that there's only one time when her family ate as a whole in one table. Despite her problems in life, she still remains sweet, cheerful and beautiful. And you, she had a boyfriend who left her for another girl. How cruel! I almost cried when we were sharing our problems in life. I have noticed that behind her smiling face and sweet "good mornings" lies a troubled girl who longs for a complete and happy family. She's such a nice girl and according to her her three best friends had abondoned her already. Right now, she doesn't want to have a best friend who would just leave her in her bad times. I hope she can find true happiness.
We also talked about being rich. Who wouldn't want to be a rich person? Although we both live in a small home, I'm still luckier than her because my family is complete and we are happy. To tell you the truth I want to live a better life, better than what we have now, in terms of money. I seldom feel "op" whenever my classmates and I talking about going to different malls and places. I never been to other places except those that my family visits. I always wanted to go malls and buy whatever I want to buy. But riches are not permanent, right? And so as being poor. So why do I still ask for more?

I'm Back!!

2008-08-31T18:29:00.002+08:00

Yup! After a long time, now, I'll start again posting! *Sigh* You know, I'm facing such problems right now...Well, its not really big but I am a contestant in the declamation contest in our school!! I only have 10 days left to memorize my piece, "Come Up from The Fields Father," by Walt Whitman. Can anybody help me? I'm not really onto these things; My teacher just forced me to...

A long tiring week before the classes starts!

2008-06-09T00:35:00.002+08:00

Hello!! You know I think this will be the last time I would post here =(... You know school is near here in the Philippines...Last Monday, we bought our bags and shoes!! And, we bought it in SM Pampanga. My dad brought us where they ar installing their blowers. To tell you, my dad is the owner of a company which fabricates and intalls blowers. He owns the 617 Metalworks Sales & Services. Our trip there was really enjoying!! We ride the small train that goes around the mall, I even sang in the Wow! Magic Sing. We rent a horse stroller where my younger brother sat with our bags at the back of it. We explore the whole first floor of the mall an we were so tired!! We didn't wait for my dad to come so we ate at Jollibee already. After a whole tiring day of shopping, I was able to buy the first album of my idol, Charice Pempengco. I never stopped listening to it until now! Her voice so good. When we arrived I went to sleep. Well, its was really tiring! But I enjoyed it!

The next day...obviously I wasn't able to use the computer =( Actually, its only now that I was able to use my computer again. Imagine 5 days without computer and music was completely boring!! Well atleast I have my guitar and my broken piano with me.

Then last Thursday, me and my sister went to the house of my Lola, I call ger Mommy Iya! Me and her daughter, Tita Zsa Zsa is really close. Back there at their beautiful house(they live in Jade Tower, I think its a condominium). There was no dirt and everything was nice. One thing though: it was boring! And I can't be free to do anything because I shy...What I have noticed is that they don't use much electricity and they take a bath every night. Have I mentioned the fact that they are Chinese? Well, they are, Mommy Iya's husbund is a Chinese. They welcomed us warmly. Me and Tita Zsa Zsa were always talking about music. We're bought music lover. I play four instruments: guitar, piano, bamboo flute and my voice while she plays three: drums, guitar and banduria. My sister and I always go to the Penthouse. We always use the elevator. We stayed there until Saturday night. My mother picked us up and we already have double deck!! AT LAST!! You know, we have experienced so many kinds of bed already. We once sleep in an insulation, in a wood, in a carpet, everything! Until my mom bought a bed!

Well that's it for now!! Ja!!

We went out!!

2008-06-01T21:00:00.002+08:00

Today, we went to SM Sta. Mesa!! I don't know why, but my dad suddenly told us to get dress. It was such a long time since we ate in a restaurant. We ate at KFC. We usually eat there. We always buy the bucket meal. It was really fun! We have just arrive a while ago. I'm in the house right now. I have recovered from my back ache. I even used the bath tub a while ago. When we were at SM, we also ate donuts. My dad told me that he would buy a cell phone for me!!(yehey!!) I wonder when is that....hmmm... I have nothing to say anymore!!!

Well, we have a new dog, a girl. It has no name. I think we should give it a name...But we can't think of any. I want to name her Lyn at first, but I thought Yume would be better. Actually, my uncle just left it. We(not incuding my mom) decided to take it in. Doglas, our dog, is very curous about that little puppy. It always sniffs Yume. Doglas thought that it was a toy. But it isn't a toy. Its very small! Super small!!

Well, that's it for now! じゃ

Another day....

2008-05-31T23:25:00.002+08:00

When I woke up this morning, I was surprised that my back, my arms and my shoulder ache. It really hurts that I can't stand up properly....When I woke up, I slept again so that I won't feel the pain, but when I woke again, I started to feel the pain again. Maybe it was because I wrote so much yesterday. After I wrote that list of suppliers, I went home and used the computer. I updated my blog and my website and listened to different kinds of music. After that, even though my right hand really hurt, I still wrote some songs. My mom and dad told me not to use the computer at home for a while. They said that if I would use the computer, I'll use it only when needed. Right now, I'm in our computer shop. According to my mom, I should use the computer in our computer shop so that I can sit properly. Well, at first I didn't like it but maybe it will work. I should limit my time from now on.

I was with my younger brother a while ago. I was looking after him. We played the Rubik's cube. I was surprised to see that he can use it already. He would scramble it and then I would solve it. We played and talked to each other until we went to my room where my tita is sleeping. When I lay on my bed. I couldn't control myself but to sleep. I slept. I'm really like that. Whenever I feel like sleepy, I can sleep but when I am not, I really can't sleep. And whenever I woke up after I sleep, I can't get back my sleep anymore. What's wrong with me? Is that still normal?

I worked at my father's office today!!!

2008-05-30T20:21:00.003+08:00

A while ago, after I took a bath, I directly went to my father's office. If he is not around, I'm the boss. Well, they call me that. I made some tasks. I wrote the list of the suppliers in a notebook, alphabetically. So, I have to alphabetize all the supplier's name. Its kinda' tiring really! Last night, I decided not to write something first(because I always write poems and other things, esp. at night). I decided not to use my hands first. My hands were tired from playing the guitar and piano, use the keyboard and writing things in my notebook. But its worth the pain. I learned the suppliers of my father's company. I wasn't expecting a money, but I would really be happy if there will be!! Tomorrow, I will come back again, if its not crowded inside the office.

Today's also the birthday of one of my cousins, Nimuel. My mom bought him a cake and a tray of pancit. We all ate it just a while ago. I somewhat don't like this cousin of mine. I really don't like his attitude! Whenever my younger brother has a new toy he would say he also wants that and he will force my brother to lend him and they end up quarreling. From what I've noticed, he doesn't like anybody to be higher than him. I hate that attitude of someone. Although I know that he's a kid, its as if his parents didn't taught him anything. About this Yu-Gi-Oh cards. He even wants that everything will be mine. Then when my father told my brother that he will be bought more so he should just lend it to Nimuel, he gave all his Yu-Gi-Oh cards to my brother and said that he wants to be the one will have those cards which are to be bought for my brother. Argg!!! The nerve!!! I haven't told anything yet. I didn't tell anyone of what I can observe. But they are all annoying!!

I'm so tired!!!!!!!

2008-05-28T21:16:00.002+08:00

I'm so tired today!! My siblings and my cousins are so noisy!! They are always fighting over something so small!! I really hate kids!! Sometimes I just want to cry but I just can't. They are so annoying. How I wish there would be a day when there are no kids and there is only me in the house. Those kids pisses me off. I try not to get angry at them. But they already made me mad. I'm always the one who are stoping them from fighting. My brother is always hitting my three cousins. My cousin Shaira is so over-acting! My brother hasn't come near her and she's already crying. My younger brother always disturbs our dog. What if he would be bitten? Argggg!!! I'm sop pressured!!!! When will they stop quarreling? You know, when I was a kid, I was never that mischievous. My mom said I was behave but sometimes me and my sis quarrel. I try my best to get along with them, but they have really reached my limit..I want to leave home already. How I wush I could live alone. I would fiund a job and be on my own. Whout those annoying kids around. They always depend on me!! What am I? Their servant? I am the daughter of a businessman, why am I treated this way? How could they let me do all those things? Why is life like this. They always quarrel. I think I don't want to live anymore..........I always think, "How am I suppose another morning with these people?"

Oh! My Piano!!

2008-05-28T20:57:00.003+08:00

I hate it!! Yesterday, May 27, 2008, my precious 36-key little piano was broken. One of my cousin accidentally lay on it. I wasn't able to get angry. I don't know why but, lately, I never get angry very much. Actually I really dislike my cousins from myu mother's brother. Its as if they don't have shame. My cousin who broke it didn't even said sorry. Instead, he just laughed and he even told me to just give it to him because it might give money to them. They have just arrived here in Manila. They are going to Pangasinan to live in the house of my great grandparents. Back to the topic, my piano is very important to me. It was bought by my father for us. It was my first muscial instrument. I learned to play the piano because of it. I used it to play my the first song I learned. Me and my sister always play "Heart and Soul" using it. It has so many memories....At first it was my brother who broke it. It was a long time ago. But I can still use it after that, because its only the stand that is broken. But now the right hand of it is damaged. 5 keys are removed and the bottom has cracked. A while ago, I tried to revive it. hopefully, I can still play the songs I used to play. My dad saw it. He asked why it was broken. I answered that my cousin accidentally laid on it. He said we'll just buy a new one. I hope so that we will be able to buy as soon as possible. But at this situation we are facing, it seems impossible. So I'll just stick with my old piano. I can still use it.

I could sing!!!

2008-05-26T21:42:00.004+08:00

Just last Thursday, May 22, 2008, I had colds and toncilitis. I still have colds now(its almost gone), but my toncilitis is gone!! I drank a lot of water, Salabat and calamansi juice everyday. Then I felt my voice is back. I recovered very quickly. For a couple of days, I tried not to sing firts to rest my voice. During those days, when I couldn't sing, I felt really lonely but I should endure that if I want my voice back. Then yesterday, we had karaoke. I started it in the morning after I took a bath. I said, "I don't want to use the computer its too early. I'll just sing!". Then I opened the DVD and the television. I placed a DVD video of songs I really love to sing. I was shocked!! When I started singing, suddenly, I could hit those high notes. I mean, whenever I sing before the computer, I can never reach those high notes.

Songs I sang yesterday:
I Still Believe - Mariah Carey
Hero - Mariah Carey
Don't Cry Oot Loud - Rachelle Ann Go
Unbreak My Heart - Toni Braxton
Total Eclipse of the Heart - Bonnie Tyler
Its All Coming Back to Me Now - Celine Dion
My Immortal - Evenescence
Bring Me to Life - Evanescene
If the Feeling is Gone - Kyla
Only Hope - Mandy Moore
Cry - Mandy Moore
When You Believe - Mariah Carey w/ Whitney Houston
Tibok ng Puso - MYMP
No Ordinary Love - MYMP
Break it to Me Gently - Angela Bofill
Because You Loved Me - Celine Dion
I Love You - Celine Dion
If I Ain't Got You - Alicia Keys
How Do I Live - Leanne Rhymes

Aren't they too many? But good thing I didn't strain my voice too much. I can still talk well. Next time we sing, I'll record it and upload it in www.youtube.com or maybe here in my blog. Ja! Mata ne!

Busy?

2008-05-26T21:25:00.002+08:00

I'm so busy these days, because school is really near. Me and my sister sew our notebooks and covered them. Her notebooks has plastic cover when we bought it. My notebooks will still be covered with plastic covers. Also, I will make the label of our belongings(as in names!). I haven't made that label thingy yet. I'm busy with studying Japanese right now. I am focusing in Kanji and verbs. I already know the sentence pattern of Japanese sentences. Its really hard to study Nihongo but its really interesting! I'm mean learning new languages is really fun for me. You know, I planned to study another language after Nihongo. Maybe, I could start Spanish or Korean. Do you know why I am interested in Japanese? Its because of anime. Whenever I am interested in an anime sometimes there are no subtitles and its really hard to understand that, right? I don't want to wait for the video with english subs to come. Atleast somehow, I can understand Nihongo now. Even though, sometimes I can't understand that. By watching anime and reading manga, I can learn new! Sorry for jumping to Nihongo suddenly... Gomen ne....

Ouch!!

2008-05-22T22:23:00.002+08:00

My back ache so much!!! Last night, my sister asked me to teach her bending. You know, what gymnast do and they bend their body, something like that. I know how to do that stuff, we studied that in P.E. Well, i showed her how. Its kinda long time since I've done that, so when I bend, ouch! But I still managed to get up(I didn't fall) Then it was her turn. I held her waist and she bent her body. Woooh! So tiring!! After that I continued surfing the net. You know, I slept at 6 am. I woke up at 12. I wasn't even able to take a bath, so I just washed my body(eww!).

A while ago I covered my books and my sister's books for school. It was really fun! But I would prefer to sew the notebooks. Tomorrow maybe? Well, I'm really and still an addict on Daa! Daa! Daa! I'm so disappointed that I can't read the Volume 9!!!!

That's all for today! Ja!

Daa! Daa! Daa! - a weird dream

2008-05-21T17:46:00.003+08:00

Last night, I really had a very weird yet beautiful dream. Before I went to bed, I read Daa! Daa! Daa! manga, then I also read the some fanfictions from www.fanfiction.net. I mentioned that I found that chapter where Miyu accidentally kissed Kanata while he is asleep. That scene kept on coming back to my head until I had this dream.Its very beautiful. I was there reading a manga; its about Daa! Daa! Daa!. It contain, 10 pages I think where Kanata and Miyu were kissing. Yup! The whole 10 pages was focused on their kiss. I thought it kinda long, but its really sweet, because Kanata started the kiss. It was mentioned in my dream about this chapter 32. I'm very sure that that thing I've read in my dream was not included in the manga. The chapter 32 was about the coming of Hikarigaoka-kun, I think. Right now, I'm trying to bring back my shattered dreams and try to draw it. I'm currently practicing to draw their movements and I'll make a doujinshi about it.

Anyone who know where these scenes on the right, please inform me.

Yappari!! I found it!!

2008-05-21T00:11:00.005+08:00

Yay!!! I found the scene in Daa! Daa! Daa! wgere Miyu accidentally kissed Kanata! It was on Volume 1, Chapter 4... OMG! She kept it a secret from him. What about their real kiss at the last Volume? How did Miyu react on that? I'm really very curious already!!! Where in the world can I find that? When will they finish translating it? If only I have the raw, I would translate it myself. Anyhows these are the sweet scenes from that chapter:

After what happened Kanata was worried about Miyu....

Aaaa!! Kawaii!!!!

The Legend a.k.a. Tae Wang sa Shin Gi

2008-05-19T23:45:00.002+08:00

Ever heard of this tv series in Korea? Its really beautiful, especially when Sujini and Damdeok are together. I also love the OST from the Philippines. As of today, it is aired in the Philippines. The songs it has are the revival of Ariel Rivera of the song "Go the Distance" and the "Yapak" by Jolina Magdangal. I watched this series in www.youtube.com subbed by rotsan. All in all the story is really nice.

I had an exciting weekend!

2008-05-19T22:22:00.002+08:00

Last time I wasn't able to continue my post because oir computer shop is closed already and they have to close the internet. So, after we went to SM, I opened the computer. It's already my routine to open the computer and search for something new(well the real reason is Daa! Daa! Daa!). The next day, May 16, 2008, Friday, I watched our DVD of Which Star Are You From. I watch almost the whole series. But before I finished, my father called me. He said we are going to Dasmarinas, Cavite. There was a feast in my father's friend's place. On our trip there, we used the truck of my father. We are five in the car. We're like sardines really. My younger brother sat on my lap, my mom sat beside me, my sis sat at my left with her left leg on the chair. It's very hot and narrow inside the truck. We stop for sometime and we positioned ourselves at the back, but it started to rain. We then, fitted oursleves inside the narrow bus. I think we got lost for sometime, but we manage to get back on track. We arrived at a very beautiful place. It's really worth the pain we encountered at the truck. We ate delicious food and slept at a very cool place. I was very tired and slept at 3 am because I looked after the kids(a.k.a. my brother, ang the 2 daughters of my dad's friend). I think I was the last one to wake up in the morning. I'm so tired....We went home the next day and sat on the same hot and narrow truck. When we went home, I rested myself on my bed as I was watching our DVD of American Idol. Not long after my father joined but then he went out after watching one episode only. I suddenly felt sleepy. My eyes closed and I fell asleep. I really love to sleep. I don't even have electric fan. I woke up and my dad was watching "The Forbidden Kingdom" online. I joined him. Before the movie ended I took a shower(that was 11 pm I think...) after that I used the computer for some time and then I slept already....

aaaaa.....so tiring!

I had an exciting weekend!!

2008-05-19T01:36:00.003+08:00

Last May 15. 2008, Thursday, I had a very tiring day! We went to SM Sta. Mesa, nearly night time to buy birthday presents for the son my father's customer. We bought a T-shirt for him at Bench. It took us such a long time to decide what to give. I have only seen that guy once, last April 20, 2008 at a King One restaurant near SM Mall of Asia. Speaking about that restaurant, you know, you are not allowed to leave until you finish your food. You must not leave any leftovers or else you'll pay. You're not even allowed to take home some food. Enough of that, well we decided to buy a medium size, white T-shirt with a 1987 thingy as a logo (well, I don't really care about the logo) and a 2000 pesos as a gift. after we bought that, we ate at Jollibee. I ordered Spaghetti and Sundae. I really love the ice cream in Jollibee. Then we went home. I always use the computer after my free time and look for Daa! Daa! Daa! Volume 9. I used to it that I should find something that is connected to it. Unfortunately, I never find something new....

to be continued......

I love Music!

2008-05-16T15:01:00.002+08:00

You know, I asked myself one time, "What would my world be, if there is no music?" I think my life would be boring and my life wouldn't be worth living... Since I was a kid, I already love music, especially singing. I joined contests when I was 4, but when I grew older, somehow, I became shy that I don't want to sing in videoke or karaoke. I started singing again when I was 11(now I'm 13). Now I realize that if at those times when I am shy, I placed my shyness away, I might be better now. I idolize famous singers now such as Charice Pempengco, Mariah Carey, Rachelle Ann Go, Sarah Geronimo, Kyla, Jonalyn Viray, Raph Salazar, etc. They seem to have developed their talents fully. I once tried having voice lessons with LYRIC under Ms. Milenia Mella. Although it helped me a little, I think I need a better one. I asked my mom that now that it is still vacation, I want to take voice lessons. But right now, we are worrying financially. So, I study by myself. I even self-teach myself piano. I'm using the internet for piano scores and lessons which are seen in www.youtube.com.

Right now, I don't really know my range. But I can sing songs by Sarah Geronimo, Yeng Constantino,. Rachelle Ann Go, Mariah Carey(some), Regine Velasquez and Whitney Houston. I also sing in different languages. I sing in Spanish, English, Tagalog, Japanese and Korean....

Well, that's all my mind now.....

What I want....

2008-05-16T14:32:00.003+08:00

I was thinking while I was in bed, "What do I really want? Will I ever get what I want?" I really love anime/manga and also music. I belong to the middle class family or "may kaya". I really love to buy stuffs I really want. I even worked at our computer shop to have money XD. Unfortunately, I only earned 200 pesos, which wa borrowed by my tita, and until now, is not yet paid :( My father is really busy that he can't buy me what I want and I understand that. Because even though we earn, that is only enough for our basic needs. For some reasons, I really really want to buy these things: recording microphone, pen tablet, manga studio, anime studio and an 88-key piano. My father promised me that we will buy the pen tablet and a piano, so I should wait until that time comes....

UFO Baby

2008-05-15T20:58:00.003+08:00

I've been wondering where I can find the Volume 9 of UFO Baby/Daa! Daa! Daa! for so long already....I wonder what chapter this scene is->

I don't know where to find the it online....I'm really doomed!!

Daa! Daa! Daa!

2008-05-13T16:03:00.000+08:00

Hello! I want to let everybody know what I've been looking for. I'm looking for this manga* called Daa! Daa! Daa!, by Mika Kawamura. I am looking for its final volume, 9. I am very desperate about reading it. I am very curious of what happened to Miyu & Kanata.

*manga is a comics created in Japan.

Hello!!

2008-05-13T15:58:00.000+08:00

Hello! This is my first time to have a blog... I created this to learn, find and share things with everyone. I also created this to show what I feel everyday. I will try to update this every now and then.

Lovin' Life

.....................................

Mask - Kamen no Jouji

Time is relative...?

Ever heard of the "negative ions"

A New Someone...

I'm staying up till morning!

Someone I had to deal with...Guess who...hehe

How are waves created....?

Whoa!!

Department Day/Class Day…

Random Thinking…Again….?

Whew...I'm back....

Random Thinking.....

Homepages-friends.com

I have just finished reading the whole Hana Kimi series!!

My Newest poems!!!

Have you heard about the NRich Marketing?

My Newest Poems!!

TWILIGHT!!!!!!!

My Newest Poems!!!!

My Poems!!

Daa! Daa! Daa!

Eclipse...

I have just finished reading Twilight!!

I'm Bored....

I Did Not Make It to The Finals...

OMG!! Its our declamation already!!

ここ に いる よ!

Why Do I Still Ask For More?

I'm Back!!

A long tiring week before the classes starts!

We went out!!

Another day....

I worked at my father's office today!!!

I'm so tired!!!!!!!

Oh! My Piano!!

I could sing!!!

Busy?

Ouch!!

Daa! Daa! Daa! - a weird dream

Yappari!! I found it!!

The Legend a.k.a. Tae Wang sa Shin Gi

I had an exciting weekend!

I had an exciting weekend!!

I love Music!

What I want....

UFO Baby

Daa! Daa! Daa!

Hello!!

ここ　に　いる　よ!